I struggle to find a 'title' of this post!

'They' have done it again! The young photo-journalist was on her job with her colleague. 'They' had made it clear where she supposedly belongs. This time 'they' did not kill her. Rather, 'they' made her clean the spot to remove all the evidences. But, at the end, she did not go home to weep. She went straight to the police station with her colleague and registered a complaint, and police acted swiftly to catch all the culprits. The mother of one accused also wanted her son to be punished if her son has done the gruesome act on that women!

What did others say immediately? The very next day, one women writer from West Bengal, who has written prolifically on women issues, summarized the incident, along with 'growing' other rape incidents in India, as the effect of consumerism based culture; another way to say it as the effect of western culture. It immediately reminded me what Mohan Bhagwat (chief of RSS) told after the Nirbhaya incident in Delhi: "Crime against women happening in urban India is shameful .. such crimes would never happen in Bharat (implicitly in Hindu Bharat) ... there will be no such incidents of gangrape or sex crimes. Where 'Bharat' becomes 'India' with the influence of western culture, these type of incidents happen." Personally I know many people who hold similar views. Are these people not aware that they are even factually wrong? Or they do know, but always want to pass the issue in the name of western culture to save our 'sacred' past! It simply shows that they neither know India, nor Bharat! It is clear that sexual violence against women in 'consumerized' western society are far lesser than in India. Do I have to believe that the greatest proponent of the consumerism, the USA has more number of sexual violence against women than our 'just affected' westernized India? 

In recent time, there are many headlines saying that the violence against women are growing. I strongly doubt the statistics. There is absolutely no credible data available even for 50 years ago. How many incidents got unnoticed even few years before? The very next day the incident in Mumbai happened, a women police officer in Jharkhand was raped. The next day, the TOI had the headline about a dalit girl who was raped few months earlier by an upper cast guy from her village and subsequently her mother was killed. Police did not do anything. The desperate father finally had approached the supreme court. There were innumerable incidents earlier that we did not even know or we have accepted or the victims were forced to accept. Thanks to the strong media, and thanks to these courageous women and their families that these are coming out to all of us. The victims (and collectively the society) are no longer ready to accept what has been thrown on them for years. The  incident in Kamduni village in my state has become a glaring example.

But why the violence against women is so common in India, even in absolute number? We can not do away from it just by saying that it is the effect of western culture, consumerism etc. As I mentioned earlier, it is factually wrong. The answer lies in the sick old mentality of Indian society towards women, and surely also about sex. The mentality about women was well summarized (I can not do better here) by Asaram Bapu (now accused of sexual crime) just after the Nirbhaya incidence in Delhi. He said, ".. she should have taken God's name and could have held the hand of one of the men and said I consider you as my brother and .. that I am helpless, .. my religious brother. She should held their hands and feet... then the misconduct wouldn't have happened." The defense lawyer of Nirbhya case commented about Nirbhyaya ".. if my daughter was having premarital sex and moving around at night with her boyfriend, I would have burnt her alive. I would not have let this situation happen. All parents should adopt such an attitude." I wondered what he would have done to his son in a similar situation. This is the way we would treat our girls and expect our country to be violence free against women! The so called consumerist society had placed women in the same paddle where men are, but it is only probably we Indians who have taken women as 'consumers'. 

It has been frequently argued that Hindi movies are having bad effects in our society, particularly about the attitude towards women. I do agree completely. We are becoming habitual from Munni to Sheila, but this vulgarism has nothing to do with western effects. How many western movies we know where women are portrayed like commodities? These people are honest to show the nudity and sex in the movies, and we pretend it does not exist. We have rather decided to show women and girls as 'items' in the movies. It is we only who are responsible for this, no one else!

Now come to my other point on the attitude of Indian people about sex. In our society, we hide the word 'sex' in the newspaper when parents/seniors are there. We grow up in an atmosphere where sex is always forbidden to talk and discuss. This mentality naturally gives rise to the obsession to forbidden. We tend not to appreciate that sex is an important part of human life, but also to remember that it is not the most important part of life. Unfortunately the situation is so bad that it percolates heavily even to middle aged people. The women and the girls are always vulnerable to the direct or indirect sexual harassment in their day-to-day life in India. No one knows better than any working lady or college going student. But, do we see these absurdity in any European and American countries? We must have a modern view to the sex and the sexuality.

Four victims of the Delhi rape incidents were convicted to death. In the last effort to save his client's life, the defense lawyer invoked Gandhi. At the core, he was correct. Sentencing these people to death can not be the solution. It is clear from our past experiences. Sentencing people to death will surely scare some people, but we know that is not a good idea to make anything work in a long run.

Am I frustrated with the 'recent surge of violence against women'? Absolutely not! Although each incident is pathetic to say the least, but they are coming with rays of hopes. The Indian society is going through a great deal of churning processes. Surely, we are paying costly price that is not recoverable, but women who could not speak earlier are now speaking. There were thousands of rape victims that we did not even know about earlier. Now women are making it clear that they are no longer ready to accept it. Justice processes have also started to work. But the real change will only happen when we would be able to have women in economically and socially at the same status where men are now today. The process has just started.

Bombay incident is nothing but saying this brave working girl "You should not be here .. you see how helpless you are." Sexual abuse against women happens not mainly because of any individual's lust, but mostly it happens because the individual's belief that he can just get away with it. We have to uproot this mentality from our society completely. And, also let us be little funny about sex and sexuality; it is not so serious, it is not so bad; it is just natural! Our upbringing from the childhood must take this route, not the convoluted path to the 'sacred sex'. Where do I see India twenty years down the line about this issue? Violence against women will become much lesser tomorrow as India moves towards a modern, economically strong society where women also participates in every sphere of life.

In reality, I would like to see few changes happening as soon as possible. Firstly, we should completely abolish the idea of boys' and girls' school concept from our education structure. The concept is outdated and no longer required. Secondly, the government must incentivize women to take jobs those are traditionally being done by men only. To break out the patriarchal society, we just need to take the issue straight ahead.

I was visiting Munich last month, and on the way to the city from the airport, I took a little unconventional route this time to save some time. It was around 10 in the night and I was waiting at a deserted bus-stop just outside of the city. A teenager girl came in a while followed by few young boys of her age. It seemed they did not know each other. But, within a few minutes they were able to strike a conversation about German politics - national election was within a week. We all took the same bus, and the girl left after few stops, saying good-bye to everyone with a smiling face! If we can come up with a society where the boys and the girls mingle in this fashion, we no longer have to worry about any girl/women be sexually assaulted the every other day.

Hey, Happy Puja 2013! Have fun :)